First Month on the Hot Mess Express

Week 4 of hybrid school is complete. People ask me, “Is it getting better?” Without hesitating, I answer, “No.”

I have little faith that this situation will ever get better. Just imagine being in two places at once, using technology that is unfamiliar, questioning your every decision, predicting the outcome for every assignment, and still trying to bring some joy of learning to 90 teenagers. It is an impossible situation.

At the beginning of each school year, teachers put in many overtime hours for which we are never compensated. We recognize that and still do it, but usually by week 4, we can take a deep breath and relax a little. Not in 2020.

Two weekends ago, I worked 10 hours preparing to be out the following Friday. I had planned a weekend at the beach with my friends that would make up for the Alaskan cruise Covid took from us. This weekend, I will work at least 10 hours grading all the work I had to assign so I could miss one day. Is that how every weekend will be? Most of my colleagues do the same thing. We can’t keep up this pace.

“Just don’t assign the work. Then you won’t have to grade it.” That would be swell, but teaching doesn’t work like that. Parents are quick to judge and condemn if the rigor of our classes isn’t there. My students can’t afford to “waste” a day since we are already a week behind our college partner. The students have to take standardized tests to decide if we are teaching the standards. We can’t take time off.

Now about parents – I have the best parents ever mainly because they leave me alone. They must trust me to teach their kids to write. I don’t know. Maybe it’s my old age and experience, but I’m lucky. Some of my colleagues aren’t. In some Zoom classes, parents are watching, listening and recording to find reasons to complain about what/how the teacher is handling the class.  One teacher used a short clip from a program on NPR to add to her lesson. A parent complained that the teacher was using the class as her own political platform. So much for adding current events to a lesson. I value parental input but right now, we don’t need an arm-chair quarterback or back-seat driver.

Now about the students – They are phenomenal. I can’t say often enough how great mine are. They are attentive and get their work done, mostly on time. I know I’m blessed because my students are more mature (seniors) and smart (dual enrollment). I often remind them that they chose to be in this class; therefore, I expect a lot from them. My Zoomers are very understanding of my lack of maneuvering all the screen shares and internet glitches. After I had a heart-to-heart with my students about my insecurities, I got the sweetest text from a Zoomer.

Like I said, I’m blessed because most of my students are just like this person. However, many of my friends have the opposite with their students. Some students haven’t attended Zoom classes but a couple of times because of connectivity issues, imagined or real. Teachers have been Zoom hacked by anonymous people logging in using very inappropriate names which might be visible to the other students. Some hackers have gotten into classes and played explicit songs or yelled profanities before being removed from the group.

Now that we are 4 weeks in, people are getting sick. I have several students who are quarantined at home because of a positive test or exposure. Covid is encroaching, and it’s only a matter of time before more kids/teachers get sick. We all know it’s coming and that’s the dark cloud that hangs over any pleasure of being in the classroom.

The days are not fun anymore. I like my students, but I don’t know them. I wouldn’t recognize any of them because I see only their eyes or an image on a screen. I try to find joy in little things, like the student who wore a marquee mask, but those little things don't lessen the constant worry or the daily tears my colleagues cry at the beginning of each day. 

It's not getting any better.