Saturday, September 26, 2020

First Month on the Hot Mess Express

Week 4 of hybrid school is complete. People ask me, “Is it getting better?” Without hesitating, I answer, “No.”

I have little faith that this situation will ever get better. Just imagine being in two places at once, using technology that is unfamiliar, questioning your every decision, predicting the outcome for every assignment, and still trying to bring some joy of learning to 90 teenagers. It is an impossible situation.

At the beginning of each school year, teachers put in many overtime hours for which we are never compensated. We recognize that and still do it, but usually by week 4, we can take a deep breath and relax a little. Not in 2020.

Two weekends ago, I worked 10 hours preparing to be out the following Friday. I had planned a weekend at the beach with my friends that would make up for the Alaskan cruise Covid took from us. This weekend, I will work at least 10 hours grading all the work I had to assign so I could miss one day. Is that how every weekend will be? Most of my colleagues do the same thing. We can’t keep up this pace.

“Just don’t assign the work. Then you won’t have to grade it.” That would be swell, but teaching doesn’t work like that. Parents are quick to judge and condemn if the rigor of our classes isn’t there. My students can’t afford to “waste” a day since we are already a week behind our college partner. The students have to take standardized tests to decide if we are teaching the standards. We can’t take time off.

Now about parents – I have the best parents ever mainly because they leave me alone. They must trust me to teach their kids to write. I don’t know. Maybe it’s my old age and experience, but I’m lucky. Some of my colleagues aren’t. In some Zoom classes, parents are watching, listening and recording to find reasons to complain about what/how the teacher is handling the class.  One teacher used a short clip from a program on NPR to add to her lesson. A parent complained that the teacher was using the class as her own political platform. So much for adding current events to a lesson. I value parental input but right now, we don’t need an arm-chair quarterback or back-seat driver.

Now about the students – They are phenomenal. I can’t say often enough how great mine are. They are attentive and get their work done, mostly on time. I know I’m blessed because my students are more mature (seniors) and smart (dual enrollment). I often remind them that they chose to be in this class; therefore, I expect a lot from them. My Zoomers are very understanding of my lack of maneuvering all the screen shares and internet glitches. After I had a heart-to-heart with my students about my insecurities, I got the sweetest text from a Zoomer.



Like I said, I’m blessed because most of my students are just like this person. However, many of my friends have the opposite with their students. Some students haven’t attended Zoom classes but a couple of times because of connectivity issues, imagined or real. Teachers have been Zoom hacked by anonymous people logging in using very inappropriate names which might be visible to the other students. Some hackers have gotten into classes and played explicit songs or yelled profanities before being removed from the group.

Now that we are 4 weeks in, people are getting sick. I have several students who are quarantined at home because of a positive test or exposure. Covid is encroaching, and it’s only a matter of time before more kids/teachers get sick. We all know it’s coming and that’s the dark cloud that hangs over any pleasure of being in the classroom.

The days are not fun anymore. I like my students, but I don’t know them. I wouldn’t recognize any of them because I see only their eyes or an image on a screen. I try to find joy in little things, like the student who wore a marquee mask, but those little things don't lessen the constant worry or the daily tears my colleagues cry at the beginning of each day. 

It's not getting any better. 






Saturday, September 5, 2020

Week One -- DONE!

Week one is done!

Many tears were shed by teachers and students alike. Even I cried, and I don’t cry often.  I’ve got good medication. I didn’t cry in front of the students, so I guess that’s a win.


Finally Friday! What a week!



I always say that a teacher has basically three jobs – plan, teach, grade.  I have always been able to do two of the three at once. Rarely do I get all three in sync, but when it does happen, all is right with the world. Over 39 years, I’ve gotten my course curriculum planned to perfection. I give my students a syllabus for the entire semester with due dates, test dates, etc. I am so proud of that calendar. I have also been in front of a class so long that my delivery of material is spot-on. I tell the same stories and crack the same jokes. Grading always slowed the process.  I never look forward to spending my weekend grading and commenting on 100 essays on the same topic. But I do it.

This year, I would love to have the old 3-part job back. Now instead of three things a teacher has to do, there are at least 4 more. Now I watch the face-to-face (f2f) kids and interact with them, making sure they are paying attention to my all-important lesson. At the same time, I watch the Zoomers to make sure they are doing the same thing and not back in bed asleep while holding their phone. To get to this point with the Zoomers, I’ve had to connect a laptop to the TV because there’s no microphone on my desktop computer. I can screen share with Zoomers, but I can’t manipulate the TV screen (write on the TV) because the software isn’t on the laptop.

Zoomers can unmute if they have a question, but otherwise they are silent. Admin had an idea to wear earbuds so I can hear the Zoomers and talk to them all while hearing and talking to the f2f kids. The earbuds they said to buy didn’t work with the laptop they provided, but goodness, I already have too many voices in my head. I can’t add more. 


A
fter one week, I saw few successes and oh so many failures. I try to be the best in front of my students if for no other reason than for them not to roll their eyes or laugh at me. No
w I have to worry that they are recording me and sharing on social media. 

Many times this week, I asked myself why I was doing this again. I can survive without the part-time paycheck. I don’t need the insurance thanks to my late husband and the VA. I don’t need retirement benefits because I already have them. So why am I back in the classroom? It comes down to commitment. I made one to my principal and my coworkers. Now that I have been with them for a week, I am committed to my students. On day one, I assured them that even though things were very different, I am committed to getting them through this year so they get the high school and college credits they need. I emphasized that we are a team, that they chose to be in this class; therefore, they have to stay “in it to win it” as good coaches say. We have to do what is best for our team/class by staying in touch with me and staying healthy.

This year is going to require so much of teachers. You have no idea. Actually, I have no idea either. I’m just rolling on, one day at a time, trying to get a handle on all these many new parts of being a teacher.



Two ways to lessen stress -- Chick-fil-a peach milkshake and playing with a puppy!