I Am Fearfully and Wonderfully Made

In January, I wrote about the wonderful opportunity that my son Drew had. He would be working at Carolina Point, a Young Life camp in North Carolina, for a month.

If you don't know what I'm talking about, you can check out my previous post by selecting this link:

Coincidence or God's Perfect Timing?

Six months have passed, and today I dropped Drew at camp until July 25! He will be serving alongside many college students and adults to share God's word and have fun doing it. 

Drew and Daniel, his buddy from home who will be Drew's primary companion for the next four weeks.

I had planned to take lots of pictures of Drew, the camp, and the other staff members; however, there was a huge downpour that didn't allow us to see much of the beautiful place. Drew was so excited and I think ready for us to leave.

I'll admit that I'm more than a bit nervous about this whole thing. I know that Drew is 28 and I need to "let go" more than I do, but it's easier said than done when dealing with a child who has a disability. I have doubts that he will make it the whole month, worries that he will get homesick or that I'll miss him too much, and concerns that the other young people may not truly accept him. 

When these worries come to mind, I think about something a counselor told me once: "You can't grieve over something before it happens." In other words, don't expect the worst to happen and thus start preparing yourself for it so that you won't be hurt or disappointed. I have tried to remain positive about this experience for us, Drew and all the other people he will come in contact with over these next four weeks. 

I've been working to make connections for Drew before today. I introduced him and myself on the Facebook page for the summer staff and even joined in a Group-Me text with many others. I posted pictures of Drew at the Taylor Swift concert and of Drew on the podium when he won a silver medal at Special Olympics for tennis. I thought doing this would give people prior knowledge of his activities so that they would have a starting point to a conversation with him. I guess I am really, really worried about his being accepted by everyone. 

One of my favorite Bible verses is Psalm 139:13-14:

This verse says that we are all -- White, Black, Asian, Disabled, Gay, Fat, Skinny, Blonde, Ginger, etc. -- are all made by God and that we are all small bits of wonder in this large world. When we stop and consider how wonderful all of God's works are, it's easy to let go of prejudice and hate and to be accepting of everyone. 

So Drew is 100 miles away from home for four weeks with no phone, no tablet, no real contact with family. I would appreciate your prayers for him, for the staff at Carolina Point, and for me. If you'd like to send him a note of encouragement or a card, I know he'd like it. His address is Drew Owen, 4000 Glady Fork Road, Brevard, NC 28712.

Tonight, I saw this picture on Instagram that someone at Carolina Point posted. It was taken after today's thunderstorm had passed. I'll take it as a sign that good things will come.

carolinapoint...and the view wasn't too shabby to end the day either. 

Keeping An Open Door

The past couple of weeks have been tough ones for me. The retirement wasn’t such a big deal because I knew it was coming, but a lot of stress occurred when I packed up myself, my son, my granddaughter and the family dog to meet my husband and daughter in North Carolina for the summer.

After an 11 hour drive, we made it and the stress hasn’t eased off since. My husband has been in the hospital twice (bronchitis and a throat infection) and the five of us plus the dog are on top of each other in the RV and cabin. There is absolutely no place to go to be alone and process thoughts for a blog post. I keep telling myself that it will ease off soon, but right now, I’m living the AA mantra of “one day at a time” to keep from going crazy or driving everyone else crazy.

One positive action I did was to get involved with a local church. I read about Crossnore Presbyterian Church last year during my visits and even contacted them during the year to see about summer activities. Coincidentally (or God’s perfect timing), the church's secretary once lived in Tallahassee and was an ESE teacher at the school my son attended. We have several friends in common and in present-day fashion, she and I became Facebook friends. When my husband was diagnosed with lung cancer, I asked her to add his name to the prayer list at the church. I’m not Presbyterian, but because of this connection, I felt like I was supposed to be at this particular church.

The people there are extremely nice and welcoming, and in a week, we have been to Saturday breakfast, Sunday church service, and Friday Bluegrass and Barbecue family dinner. The preacher said she was finally glad to meet me because the church family had traveled this cancer journey with me and my family. The members have readily taken me and my family into their fold.

Since Wednesday night’s tragedy in Charleston, SC, I, like many of you, have thought about why this happened and why, of all places, would someone do such a horrible act in a church? A church is a place of reverence, solitude, learning, fellowship, and most of all, acceptance of all people. Just like the people of Crossnore Presbyterian Church accepted and welcomed me, the people of the Emanuel AME Church welcomed Dylann Storm Roof. After all, a church is God's house, and believers are His servants who are supposed to welcome everyone in order to learn about God. 

I’m heartbroken that this happened in Charleston to these nine people. These people lost their lives because they were in church on this Wednesday night studying God's word. They welcomed this particular young man into God's house and then were tragically shot dead by this young man. This event seems a repeat of Columbine in 1999 and Newtown in 2012 when innocent children and adults were shot and killed by other young men.

Many people have their own beliefs as to why these events happen – racial prejudice, anti-religion, anger at peers or the establishment. Stronger gun laws would help, but someone can easily get his hands on a gun through illegal paths.

Personally, I believe that evil presents itself in these people who perform these terrible acts. I mean true evil, the evil that takes hold of a person’s mind, telling him to destroy others and himself. Some people explain these events by saying the person committing this act has a mental illness or someone has taught him his warped beliefs. Maybe that’s how the evil presents itself in that person, but the greatest evil is there and is working against good and peace.

I hope that churches like Crossnore Presbyterian, Emanuel AME, and all others will continue to take a risk and open their doors to everyone to enjoy learning and fellowship. Continuing to do so is the only way to fight true evil.

Live Concerts from Herman's Hermits to Taylor Swift

All of us loaded in the minivan and headed to Charlotte, NC, to the Taylor Swift concert on June 8, 2015.

This week, I treated myself and six of my family members to the Taylor Swift 1989 World Tour concert in Charlotte, NC. Going to this concert was part of my big retirement celebration, and I must say that the concert didn’t disappoint. The tickets for which I paid over $200 each did disappoint, however. Everyone still enjoyed the experience of being at this live concert.

I love live entertainment – plays, concerts, etc. – and have been to several musical concerts over my 57 years. The first one I remember going to was in Montgomery, AL, and was really more of a music festival because it involved several “big-name” entertainers. The show was sponsored by the local AM radio station WBAM, the Big Bam, and the show was aptly called The Big Bam Show.


I remember seeing such big names at the time as Paul Revere and the Raiders, Herman’s Hermits, Kenny Rogers and the First Edition, and The Carpenters. I must have been around 12 or 13 and I went with a friend who was the same age which seems strange to me now. Who drops his/her 12-year-old kid off at a concert now? No one in his right mind! But times were different then, and the venue was clean and orderly.

My next big concert was to see Eric Clapton in Birmingham. I was 14 and won four tickets and transportation to and from the show on a charter bus sponsored by another local radio station. My mom wasn’t too keen on my going because it was a “rock” concert, but she reluctantly let me and three of my friends go. Honestly, I wasn’t a fan of Clapton then, and the attendees and their activities were eye-openers to me.

After Clapton, I don’t remember going to any concerts until college. Troy State University always had a concert each school quarter and the cost was included in student fees. I saw Jimmy Buffett, Dolly Parton, and Andrew Gold (who?). I also saw The Captain and Tennille and Waylon Jennings during the college years.

After I married, concert-going wasn’t a priority, but I did manage to see Loretta Lynn at the Ocean Opry in Panama City Beach. Then around 1990 I took my then seven-year-old son to see M.C. Hammer and Boys 2 Men. That was a huge production with lots of dancing and costume changes. That’s the first concert I saw that was more than just singing. Also, it’s the loudest performance ever. My chest vibrated the next day from the intense bass, and my ears rang for a week.

One of the best concerts I saw in the 1990s was Cher’s Farewell Tour. I have always been a huge Cher fan from when she was a duo with Sonny until now. I had her album Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves on 8-track and listened to it over and over. She isn’t the best singer, but she is a fantastic performer.

Since Cher, I have seen many musicians perform – Keith Urban, Carrie Underwood, Hunter Hayes, Sugarland, Miranda Lambert, Reba McEntire and Lee Ann Womack (twice), and George Strait, the king of country music. (Note: I've included a link to my favorite Strait song performed live.)

George Strait "I Can Still Make Cheyenne"

What’s so great about seeing/hearing a performer live? Part of the draw is the anticipation of what he/she is going to look like or sound like, of what kind of relationship he/she will have with the audience and of what the other spectators will look and act like. At the end, I just want to see if I got my money’s worth. I know that I can hear these singers on the radio, buy their music on iTunes or watch their videos on YouTube. However, it just doesn’t compare to being in a 15,000+ seat coliseum that’s packed with people who are all wanting to see the same person and have the same experience.

Which were my favorite concerts? I’d have to say that Cher was probably number one simply because I had been a fan for so long when I did see her. I also liked Reba McEntire and Carrie Underwood because both were big productions with lots of costume changes. Taylor Swift was great, too, because she wanted to really connect to her audience, especially the young girls. She also had a gimmick given to every attendee, a light-up wristband which flashed in time with her songs. The tech people had control of the wristband during the concert just like Taylor controlled the crowd. I don’t want to know how this worked technically, but everyone got to keep the band at the end. Now it just flashes when you moved it. At the end, we got to take home a flashing wristband and the memory of a great concert.

Which concert/performer was your favorite?

Ok, I'm retired. Now what?

When I started this blog over a year ago, I stated that the purpose was to use my writing and your thoughts and comments to help me transition into retirement. Well, June 3, 2015 was my R-Day, the day I've been yearning for, the date I set on my phone’s countdown app, and the date to mark changes in my life. 

That date came and went, and not much has changed except that I will now earn less than half my regular paycheck. Maybe it's because I'm used to having summers off that it doesn't seem like retirement. June, July and half of August were always spent at home or traveling, so this summer feels the same as the others. I'll probably feel differently when my friends and granddaughter go back to school and Drew goes back to work at FSU. I'll let you know.

In order to not get bored, I have lined up some activities to do in the fall. I want to learn to play Bridge so I can keep my mind sharp. There’s a class starting in September that I’ll take. The class is in the middle of the day. Yes, the MIDDLE of the day, and I won’t have to take time off work.  It’s probably filled with retirees, too, so I’ll meet new people. That’s something to look forward to.

I also have home renovations planned, namely the kitchen and my pool. Those projects will take up a lot of time and money, but they must be done. I've always hated projects like these, but now I'll have time to make unhurried decisions. I might actually enjoy spending all that money!

I also have some volunteer work that I hope to do. I’ll get those all lined up in the fall. I hope that I can concentrate on my health now that I have no excuse for taking time for myself. Maybe I’ll lose that extra 50 pounds.

My retired friends say that when I get fully into the swing of retirement, I won't know how I ever worked an 8 hours job because I'll have so many activities to keep me busy. I hope not. For now, this summer, the summer I’ve dreamed and planned for the past year, I hope to spend in North Carolina doing nothing breathing deeply.

One thing I’m unsure of now is what the focus of this blog can be. I can’t very well have it about getting ready for retirement since that’s a done deal. Until I can decide on a focus, I will tell some of my “newly-retired-person” stories. Of course, I’ll write about other events, activities, world issues, etc., that are sure to bore you. I’d appreciate your suggestions of a direction/focus. 

Lackluster Days

lack·lus·ter  ('lakˌləstər)    adjective 

1. lacking in vitality, force, or conviction; uninspired or uninspiring

Oh, yes. 

The word lackluster describes me exactly. I'm not sure where my motivation went, but it took a two-day trip and I have done very little about anything during that time. I have a job/career to finish in two days and a summer-long trip to pack everything three people will need. What am I doing watching TV and reading books when I have so much to do? I believe it's called procrastination. 

Anyway, I want to tell you about what I have read/watched because I really enjoyed all of it.

First, is a new Netflix series called Grace and Frankie, which starts Lily Tomlin, Jane Fonda, Martin Sheen and Sam Waterson. 

Sheen and Waterson are law partners married to Fonda and Tomlin for 40 years. In the last 20 years, however, the males discover that they love each other. The show begins with full disclosure and impending divorces. Fonda and Tomlin claim the beach house, become roommates and learn to tolerate each other. This part of the show is like a more mature and feminine Felix and Oscar from The Odd Couple.

I like this show because it has a plot different from the norm and also has some really fine acting. The characters are believable, sad and funny. I binge-watched the entire season, 13 episodes, in two days, and many times I laughed out loud. I really appreciate that Netflix gives me the entire series at one time which makes my binge-watching easy.

Another item that helped me procrastinate is a novel by Kristin Hannah, The Nightingale. 

I really like historical fiction and lately have read several set during World War II, as is The Nightingale. The story, told in flashback, is of two sisters, Vianne and Isabelle, who work to survive and help others survive while the war rages in France. I was caught up in the characters and their actions, so much so that I actually cried at the end of the novel. Rarely does a book make me cry anymore, so I’d say Hannah told a good story.

Now that I have confessed, I will have to get back to work. I’ve moved almost everything that I’m bringing home out of my classroom, but still have two more days to work. The packing for summer is another matter, one that isn’t going away while I sit here. 

Wish me luck!

Female Friendships: Ovaries Before Brovaries

As I'm winding down this 35-year career in education, I keep thinking about all of the things that have shaped me into the person I am. I'm not talking about the rather round shape I have from sitting at the computer for hours while editing countless yearbooks, sitting at a desk while grading papers, or just sitting. I'm talking about the people who have shaped me. Many people have come and gone during those years -- students, colleagues, husbands -- but one of the strongest influences is the women with whom I have worked.

I've always wondered about this female relationship thing. Why is it that we women feel the need to join quilting circles, go to Tupperware parties, have girls’ nights out, etc.? Why, in some cultures, do women willingly live in communal housing away from men? My husband has an idea about why men prefer it that way, but I won't go into that now. 

My answer is that women need women. We need to share the births of our children with someone who truly knows the pain and joy only a woman can feel. We need a woman who knows the pain that those children cause us when they grow up and make such devastating mistakes. We need someone who understands that when we bitch about our spouses, we still love him. We need someone who will be on our side no matter what because she knows we will be on hers.

Most of all, we need someone who will laugh with us or even laugh at us. I found out early in life that laughter can get me through really tough times, so I’m always looking for something to laugh about.

This laughter binds us, gives us stories to share at later times that will make us remember those quick hall visits and make us laugh all over. It makes us forget about our failures in the classroom, about the God-awful evaluations by administration, or about this one kid who may drive us to drink (See Previous Post).

I’m really fortunate to have worked with some amazing women who have been an integral part of my life, even though we are together for such a short time each work day and are very rarely together away from work. During the work day, we gather for quick stories during the six minutes between classes, share lunch when we can, and at the end of the day, we catch up on the day’s interesting events or better yet, the gossip one of us heard that day. At each of these quick meetings, we usually find a funny tale, often about something a student has done, to share.

These women share my hall at work, and most of the time, this is what we look like when we are supposed to be monitoring the students in the hallway. 

I’m going to miss these remarkable women who work tirelessly to stamp out ignorance, to enlighten the masses, and to motivate those who are seemingly unable to be motivated. The relationship I have with them, and with all of the women with whom I have worked, is unlike any other friend relationship I've experienced.

I guess I’ll have to learn to quilt or start selling Tupperware.

A Week of Many Endings

This week was packed with all kinds of activities and events that have created a huge mound of stress. As I was busy taking "one day at a time," I thought about my post for the week. I really didn't have anything special to write about, no earth-shattering or profound statements or events on which to expand. But I did see a common theme throughout the week -- the endings, or last times, that certain events would happen for me and others.

This week was the last semester exam for my dual-enrolled seniors. It's also the last semester exam that I will probably give since seniors are exempt from second semester exams if they are passing. I'm working hard to make sure mine are all passing. :-)

I also graded my last outlines/essays. Funny that I've had these kids all year, and they still won't put their names on their papers. 

Yearbooks arrived this week, too. It's the first book I haven't sponsored in 33 years, and I thought I might feel a little sentimental. I did not. I'm very grateful that the book is in the hands of a wonderful teacher who will produce a good book each year and will probably enjoy sponsoring the class for many years as well.

These students scan through the new yearbook. This young lady doesn't normally dress in her grandmother's church clothes, but it was "Senior Citizen Dress-Up Day" for the seniors.

Drew and I attended the last FSU Capital Children's Choir concert for the semester to hear Cloee sing. It's always great to hear those beautiful voices of children!

Friday, many of the seniors went to Grad Bash, a night when Universal Studios closes down except for seniors from all over the state. Only a handful of kids actually come to class that day, so I decided to buy them donuts. It's my final treat for them.

 













And finally, the final "last of" belongs to Kelsey who is finally finished with college, or at least until she gets into grad school!

The picture is not quite in focus, but I think you can see the excitement and enthusiasm that Kelsey felt with the completion of the first four years of college.

With only 30 days before retirement, the end weighs heavily on my mind, but mostly, I'm looking forward to the new beginnings I will pursue.